[Open for business | Leo and Aydin]

[fluctuationfeels]

They had their own spot. It changed up every so often, depending on how many cops were around or how many street walkers there were on any given night.

Leo and Aydin were there most every night. They had to be there. If they weren't they might miss out on the one in ten men who actually threw down some cash for their time.

Leo leaned against a wall that he favoured every Friday night. There were a couple of other white twinks there too, sticking their asses out and puckering their lips trying to score attention. What drew people to Leo was usually the fact that he didn’t want that attention half as much as the others. He needed it, because he needed the money to pay his rent, bills and feed his smoking habit. But want it? No. He would never want it, despite what he told his customers.

He light up another cigarette and sighed out a slow stream of smoke into the night air. At least it was a warm one. He wasn’t out on his ass in the cold like some down and out loser. Not yet anyway.

“S’real slow tonight.” He commented, offering Aydin a cigarette.

Comments

[fluctuationfeels]

Yeah. You cover it. [Leo almost rolled his eyes, but he resisted the urge. He wasn't sweet to people like Aydin could be, but he could tone down his mean streak if he had to. This guy seemed nervous. He was going to have to hold his hand some.]

There's a place a few blocks from here rents rooms by the hour. Wanna hook up there?

[professional_johns]

Yes. [He was shocked at himself. He had only been talking to the boy because - well, why? Because he looked like his memory, he had needed to refresh the memory. Brent hadn't been wanting to buy sex.

[Now he had agreed. And they were walking down the streets to the motel, not talking anymore. Brent used his credit card to pay for the room. He had a few notes in his wallet already for the boy. They were given a key and the room was... cheap.

[Brent wasn't sure how he'd gotten here, but now he slowly peeled off his coat and hung it on the back of the door.]

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo sent a quick text to Aydin. He wasn't going to be more than an hour, he could tell. "At the Jade Raven Motel. Back soon. Be safe. - Leo."

Then he slipped his phone into his back pocket and followed his new John into the room. he got close to him, slipping his arms up onto the mans shoulders and giving him a light massage.]

You're okay. [He told him reassuringly.] Cash up front, then we can do whatever you want. All right?

[professional_johns]

[For a moment he was silenced, his eyes darting over that so familiar face.] ... Right, yes. Right.

[He found his wallet again, stepping away from the boy as he opened it, removing two fresh twenty dollar bills. Did you tip in these circumstances? He didn't know. He added a ten to the pile too.] Right, here.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo smiled, taking the money, folding it into a thin cigarette paper sized strip and sliding it neatly into his other back pocket. He had sewn in an extra compartment there for cash. One that was hard to find unless you know exactly where it was.]

Thanks a lot. [He said, getting close to the man again and leaning up to brush his face against the strangers neck. He hated himself so utterly in that moment, but he concealed it perfectly.]

[professional_johns]

[It was hard to hold his own reaction back, his arms loosely wrapping around the boy's body and then tighter. A little thin, but the same height. It was like he was holding him again. Again it almost took the wind out of him, which made it easy to accept the kiss.

[In nostalgia, the breath against his neck reminded him of the first time he had held him, felt his first breaths of human life. Felt it there that last time Brent had gone off to base and hugged him goodbye.

[He had to get out of the memories and out of the past, so he pressed closed lip kisses against the boy's neck. He had gotten into this position. He had to perform.]

[fluctuationfeels]

[Performance was also Leo's job, and he let out a soft moan as the guy kissed his neck. It was surprisingly gentle. The nervous ones were usually the roughest once they got into it. He was waiting for that.

Until then he leaned his neck back, encouraging more attention there as he pushed his torso up against his customer, breathing deeply.]

What's your name? [He whispered and wondered. What would it be? John? Doctor? Sir? Father? Master? Daddy? They were favorites.]

[professional_johns]

[The moan disturbed him, but he knew that as all this was going to be. This was what prostitution was. Sex. Not memories.]

Brent, it's Brent. [The answer was automatic, but he didn't want him to call him that.] You don't have to call me anything though. It's fine.

[He needed space, and abruptly moved away, over to the window to open it. It was sticky and hard to move, but he got it open a crack although the air did very little for him.

[He was here now. He needed to do this. He peeled off his shirt and turned around.] Do uh... Do you like sports?

[fluctuationfeels]

[Did he like sports? The question threw him when it was mixed with the action of removing clothing. The guy was probably married or in the closet or something. He didn't want to think about what he was doing.

Whatever. Leo knew how to move things along.]

Yeah. I like sports. [He said, pulling off his own shirt too and letting his blonde hair feather with static for a moment as he dropped it to the floor. He didn't move to the stranger again, he just stood there, waiting for him to come and get what he'd paid for.]

You like sports?

[professional_johns]

[There were cigarette burns on the boy's body, and for a moment he wanted to demand to know where they came from. He bit the words back on his tongue. That wasn't his business, this wasn't his past.

[He still couldn't stop touching them slightly, gently, although his voice was distant from affection. Quite locked off.]

Yeah. Yeah. A soccer man. You like soccer?

[fluctuationfeels]

On and off. [He answered honestly. He liked playing soccer more than he liked to watch it, but he wasn't going into all that. Instead he was going into the mans pants, gently unfastening his belt with his delicate fingertips and opening his fly slowly. He felt the usual swell of fear and discomfort rise up as he did it, but he swallowed it down. He had to do it for him and Aydin. They needed rent money.

Besides, Maybe this one would be easier than he'd thought. He certainly seemed shy, though Leo didn't dare believe it just yet.]

[professional_johns]

Oh yeah? Better than most american boys.

[Brent wasn't hard. Couldn't GET hard. All he could do was keep talking and god this was the worst situation he had gotten himself into.]

The... The season is going well this year. The Premier League looks like it'll be a good set of games. Really good games.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo slid his hand into the mans pants and stroked his flaccid cock a few times through the fabric of his shorts, gentle and encouraging. He held back a smirk as he remembered how Momma Gibbons insisted he and Aydin charge an extra five dollars to get a customer hard.]

You don't have to be nervous. [He told the man softly as he stroked him, trying to get a cock-stand out of him.] What do you like to do? Besides watch soccer.

You like this? [He gave the mans dick a little squeeze to emphasize what he meant.]

[professional_johns]

I uh...

[He looked down at the boy's face and it hurt him. Hurt him so much he couldn't hold back that pain anymore. The memories hurt so much they melted his eyes entirely, water pouring suddenly down his cheeks.]

No. No. I'm sorry. [Brent pulled himself away, moving to the cheap bed and sitting down on it suddenly, heavily. He pushed his hands against his face, biting down on his palms to try and contain himself.

[It was like his little boy had looked back up at him. Had lived again. He knew he didn't though. He was fifteen miles away and six foot down. Brent almost couldn't breathe again.]

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo blinked, a little unsure what to do at first as he slowly lent down to pick up his shirt. He kept tight hold of it, bunching it up against his chest as the guy freaked out. He actually felt his heart break a little for him. He knew he was nervous, but this was something more than just jitters. Most people could still nut one out even if they were terrified.

After giving him a minute of space, Leo sat on the bed next to him, passing him the mostly empty box of dollar store tissues that were provided by the hotel.

He wanted to say something along the lines of 'I don't do refunds' but what came out was something very different.]

... You wanna talk about it?

[professional_johns]

[Brent didn't take a tissue, but he did after a moment remove his face from his hands. He took a slow breath, but there wasn't any air in the room cool enough for him.]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I saw you and. God. God you look just like my little boy looked. He was just like you. Just about your age...

[His voice choked on every other word and Brent shook his head. Upset that this much emotion was still there, after all these years.] God... Its like he's back from the grave and I just. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry.

You can keep the money. I'm sorry.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Jesus Christ.

Leo had to take a tissue for himself in case the cascade of upset that just washed over him managed to reach his eyes.
This poor bastard just wanted to be with his son. What a Hollywood concept. He'd never known a single father who cared that much about their kid. It was damn right beautiful and incredibly devastating.]

Hey... Look, don't worry about it. [He gave the mans bare shoulder a gently pat.] You just sit here and feel better, okay? You got a whole hour to pull it together.

[professional_johns]

Thanks. [Brent's voice was as weak as he felt. Weak as it was, words kept coming. He couldn't stop them.]

He was shot. Drive by. He had a lot of black friends, but they were good kids, you know? I didn't think they were in those kinds of gangs. [Brent shook his head.] Two bullets in the head... It wasn't an open casket.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo felt his expression soften as his chest swelled with the familiar ache of pity. It was the same kind of feeling he got when he saw an injured bird or hurt dog. He tried to imagine who he'd feel if he was in this man's position, but the entire concept terrified him too much. He didn't want anyone he knew to die.]

I'm sorry, Brent. That's more than rough.

[professional_johns]

I was on base with the army at the time, I didn't get back until it was practically over. [Brent pushed his hands against his face again, rubbing tiredly and pushing out the world's more weary sigh. So heavy it seemed like without it in him, he would entirely fall apart.]

And I just wanted to see him one last time, and then there you were and you were just like him and... I don't know. I don't know what happened. I just needed to see him one more time. A little longer.

[Brent straightened up.] I took your time kid, so... I'm sorry. You need that fifty more than me so just keep it. Please.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo waited a moment, then gave the man a gentle touch to the arm. It wasn't in any way sexual. He forced himself to smile, maybe the poor bastard would catch it somehow.]

Thank you. You're a good dad.

[professional_johns]

[He almost wanted to cry again, almost couldn't hold his spine up and collapsed into himself. It had been so long since he'd been called a dad. Been so long since this boy - the boy who looked like this boy - had said that to him. Years. Painful years that were still raw.

[With a stiff lower lip, he nodded to show he had heard, but couldn't quite respond in that moment.]

[fluctuationfeels]

[Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say. Or maybe this guy really needed a hug now? That was what his instinct told him and he didn't really have much else to go on.

He pulled the guy by his arm, encouraging him to turn so he could hold the guy a while, maybe let him cry it out.]

This isn't your fault.

[professional_johns]

[He'd been told that time and time again, by therapists, his ex wife, himself. He had known that.

[But now it was like his baby boy was saying it to him and that was definitely a breaker for him.

[He wrapped his arms around the boy and held him tight. It wasn't easy for him to cry, even with all his pain, but water trailed down his cheeks and into the boy's hair as he held him tight.]

Yeah... Yeah I know that. Shouldn't have to bury your child though.

[fluctuationfeels]

[Leo's heart was utterly in shreds. He held the guy tight in a genuine display of care and comfort the same way he would any one of his friends. He had expected the man to smell bad but there wasn't even any alcohol or anything like that on him. He was stone cold sober and suffering hard anyway.]

Yeah, I know. It sucks. [He squeezed him, trying to hug him as hard as he was sure the mans son would if he was there.]